i hate my family, i hate myself..i hate hell all relatives ard me!!!
grudge is filling me frm top to toe...
thkz to my parents,i had turned myself to a heartless and cold creature...


Dad: a very stingy man...almost starve me and my sister when we were young..gave us allowance ranging frm 50 cent(P1 to P3) to $2.00(P4 to P6) when we were primary school(includg transport fee,breakfast and lunch), $20 per wk we were secondary school (includg transport fee,breakfast and lunch) and $40 per wk when im in poly sis in NAFA...once again (includg transport fee,breakfast and lunch)...note: no allowance during school holidays..wan $$$,get a job! now,he try to save money for his pleasure and spend my sis money shamelessly...my money? well...its a matter of time =)

Mom: cannot understand simple chinese..eg: she "invented" the definition of not teaching a child means not bringing up a child,when i try to explained to her the meaning,she said she wan to disown me =D...she always want to win even though she noe she's in wrong and wil threaten to hit the child if the child wins in the conversation...=p

Sis: she wil backstab her blood sister when she dun like wat her sister is doing..she wil go crazy by crying in the middle of the nite,throw tantrums,bang the doors and slam the window..when she's unhapi..regardless of the timing..she wil oni be nice to u when she's bored or when she's in good mood XD


these above are my "great" family members =)


all of the above are true..although they do hv the kind side...but the evil side is too much for me to take it..if they try to be kind to me..i wil go bonkers..*serious* but..i do understand dat im not perfect too..i noe all my flaws..so sometimes..i reali dunno shld i hate them or shld i dun...the thinking of "hey,they dun mean it" keep hovering ard to console my disturbed mind
still...im grateful for wat i hv nw..

i dun ask for much,i dun nid a luxury live,i dun wan to be popular among ppl...i only wan to do my own stuff with my own will..i juz nid a peaceful live,without troubles...is dat too much to ask for..



mom called me yesterday..gimme a huge "hongbao"
she lectured me for not goin to her mom's bday...*when she din even tell me b4 hand til the last 30mins when the party started*
she said im neglecting everytin ard me..my family my frenz..my world is oni wif my bf....


so..last nite..im thinking all over abt this matter...
i came up with a conclusion...

my frenz: there r sometimes when i din come out wif u gers...partly itz bcoz im lazy =p and i dunno the ppl u gers r toking abt..so i make myself staying out of all those things =) i do nt hv a doll,i cant reali share u gers joy in posing the dolls pluz..im a clumsy person,im afraid dat i might damage the dolls..i dun wanna make myself feel extra..so i dun join =p..but i reali enjoy goin out wif u gers once in a while

bf: he's the only one who make me feel dat im stil alive and kicking in this world...he made me feel dat im surrounded by warmth,giving me attention..its the human nature which makes me sticking close to him..

family: the current feeling i had for them is like the temperature in north pole..endless cold...no warmth...no love...juz pure money transaction..like seller and buyer..u buy i sell...i sell u buy..nth else..no follow up etc..



watz more can i ask for.....a happily ever after?
oh...spare me ;)